By Madame Escargot 
This was going to be a post in the Kit category. It is however, simply a Snail Tale of Woe.
Background: Our Capsule Coffee Maker, a Dolce Gusto, was showing signs of age. We elected to buy a new one. It turned out that there was a new style of machine available, the Neo.
The Neo is quite smart and is made by Krups (always a good sign). Slightly more space-hungry than the old one, but would still fit into the cupboard for transportation. It was available on one of those deals where one buys coffee to the value of the machine, then machine comes free.
Best of all, there was the knowledge that the environmental issues had been considered in developing this new line. The machine itself is lightweight, using less plastic, and more of it from recycled sources. The pods are smaller and lighter than the old DG pods, and fully compostable. Save the Planet, and save space in the van!
What was to lose?
Mr Snail is not happy with his coffee.
“There’s a Bialetti in the boot,” said I. “It’s by far the best way to make coffee in the van,” I added (choosing not to recall the time that I exploded a Moka pot and dyed the ceiling of Hank the Yank with a tasteful spatter pattern in a coffee brown.) Just to ram the point home: “It uses much better quality coffee.”
Mr Snail appears to be coming around to my way of thinking. He did however point out that The Bialetti in the Boot is a figment of my imagination. We failed to pack it.
Hey Presto, Bialetti make an electric Moka pot, and it’s touted for travellers. Rated at just 365 Watts, it’s ideal for the van. Mr Snail wasted no time in ordering one. It’s quite fancy, and offers both a Keep Warm facility, and a Timer for brewing up the morning beverage. Best of all, it comes in a 3 cup and a 6 cup size. Six Espresso cups are still not equivalent to 2 coffee mugs, but it’s getting there.
The Moka Timer has been delivered. We wasted no time at all in following the instructions for preparing it for use. This involves first washing the pot, and then brewing, and throwing away, some coffee.
And that was when it clicked. The pot is the wrong size. Amazon lied when the listing said it holds 0.5 litres, They lied badly. We had thought it a rounding error, because on the box it says 3 cups, 145 ml .. erm… 435 ml?
No, it really means 3 Espresso cups, making 145 ml total coffee. Not enough to keep a mouse going.
Mr Snail was confident that he had ordered the 6 cup size, but something has clearly gone badly wrong. Another order is now on its way to us. Can we return the incorrect order, now that it has brewed the cleaning coffee? Probably not.
A secondary issue is that the Moka pot doesn’t serve up mugfuls of breakfast coffee. We tend to brew up strong coffee, and then let it down with hot water in order to fill the mugs, I recognised the snags inherent in the plan, “We would need to keep the Induction Hob out and handy” … “But also, the collapsible kettle doesn’t work on Induction.”
To be resolved.
Anybody want a 3-cup Bialetti Moka Timer electric coffee pot? or a Dolce Gusto Neo machine (hardly used, comes with a large supply of pods…)?